Baring it All with Rose and Chrystal
Welcome to Baring It All with Rose and Chrystal. The podcast is where they deep-dive unfiltered into all things motherhood, mental health, and everything in between—as two women navigating life.
Think of it like your two best friends learning, asking questions about things they wish they knew sooner, laughing and supporting each other through life's ups and downs.
They want to get to know you more about each other and our bodies in general; sometimes it gets emotional, other times spicy, and most of the time their minds are in the gutter.
Join the ride as they unpack taboo topics, chat about everyday life, learn and talk with incredible guests and industry professionals who have been through it, baring it all by sharing their stories.
Baring it All with Rose and Chrystal
Part Two of our conversation with Rosie Rees - Navigating Loss, Grief and Life
Let's Chat! send us a message, question or a confession to unpack!
Part Two of our chat with the incredible Rosie Rees. TW - Loss/Suicide
We couldn't cap our last episode, so we continued our conversation with Rosie as she bared it all with us, opening up about navigating the complexities of loss and grief, sharing the heartache of having recently lost her mum and the spiritual serendipities that followed. We wade through the emotional torrents together, discussing messages from beyond and uncovering the comforting presence of signs and symbols—from white feathers to wilie wagtails—that hint at a connection beyond the veil.
Amidst the tender moments, we also trek the path of personal growth and trauma processing, understanding that vulnerability is not only courageous but healing. Here, Rosie, Chrystal and Rose discuss the essential practices for managing the somatic echoes of grief—breath, sound, movement, and touch—and how these tools can unlock a deeper sense of self amidst life's trials.
We also dip into the lighter streams of life—sexual wellness, laughter, and the tantalizing joys of food. This conversation really did traverse the spectrum of human experience, probing into our favourite intimate explorations and the surprisingly arousing nature of non-sexual gestures. We close with a heartfelt thank you to our listeners, reinforcing the importance of self-care and community in the dance of life.
We absolutely loved our conversation with the powerhouse, Rosie. Tune in for an episode filled with heartfelt truths, lots of learning, and a few laughs along the way.
Rosie has also offered our listeners 1 month free of her @thegoldenyonimembership
with code PLEASURE - its jam packed full of learning.
Follow Rosie on Instagram here @rosie.rees
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Want your own @splashblanket (thank us later) use code ROSE15
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Connect with Rose and Chrystal on Instagram for more stories and fun mini-weekly catch-ups.
DM the girls, get involved with the conversations, and feel free to ask questions!
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And don’t forget to take care of yourself and each other -
With Love Rose & Chrystal x
Welcome back to another episode of Bearing it All with Rose and Crystal. This is actually the second part to our chat with the beautiful Rosie Rees. We could not cap this episode, so we've split it into two parts.
Chrystal Russell:Enjoy, because you did just bring it up. Let's just touch base a little bit around the grief that you've recently gone through, because it's been a lot for you. You lost your mum recently and, funny enough, good old mummy's been connecting with rose not rosie rose. Yeah, that's right plot twist.
Rose oates:I know it has been dear old mama, oh yeah, now I'm trying to talk about it, so what people may not?
Rose oates:know, oh see now I'm trying to talk about it. So what people may not know about me, and maybe something that I that's a lie, like I've always known in myself, I've always had like a very strong intuition, is that sometimes I get a few messages through and for some unknown reason, even before I knew your mum had actually passed publicly, I had this connection to Rosie Our are. I'm actually Roseanne, my actual name is Roseanne and I'm Rosanna. Yes, and so we were both also known as Roxy at one point in our lives, and it was actually my brothers call me Roxy close family, but I also liked at one stage of my life I actually liked to be known me Roxy close family, but I also liked, at one stage of my life I actually liked to be known as Roxy personally.
Chrystal Russell:It reminds me of a porn star.
Rose oates:It is a bit of my alter ego. She's a bit more wild and free and when she just wants to have that, there are people that will listen to this, that know me as Roxy and not as Rose at all.
Rosie Rees:I was Roxy in London when I was a hot mess, See and this is what's weird.
Rose oates:So when I started getting messages from Rosie's mum it was I thought they were talking to me, so like it was for me, but they called me Rosanna. And, yeah, they were talking to me and I was getting Rosanna, but no one calls me Rosanna. Al, they were talking to me and I was getting Rosanna, but no one calls me Rosanna, alive or dead. The only person that might have said it was Rosanna was my nun, who's passed, and that because it's actually not my name and my mum and dad really didn't like when I was called Rosanna. So, yeah, I a post of Rosie's came up one day and they you said that you would like Nana Rosanna, and when the post came up, I was like that's a funny meme, like it. And then, boom, the messages came in and I was like this is not for me, this is for you. So we have known each other outside of this pod and events and just not as, like you know, close, close mates, but for some reason.
Rosie Rees:But I still feel a closeness with you.
Rose oates:Yes, I do Like whenever I'd see you.
Rosie Rees:And that's when I saw you. What was it four months ago at Christelle's event? Yes, and you avoided me like the plague and you were getting progressively more drunk and you were like shaky and I'm like why hasn't Rose come to say hi? You know we haven't had a good chat tonight, like what's going on.
Chrystal Russell:She had previously told me, like before the event, she was freaking the F out. She was like, do I say something, Do I not say something? What if I make her upset Like she's? Like was freaking out over it and I was like, oh, you know, you're going to have to decide feel the room like you know, because I think, at that point too you were still like quite upset over it, and it's only been six months as well, so it's still.
Rosie Rees:It's fresh, happened July last year, so what's no? So what's that? Seven months or so at the moment?
Rose oates:So how are you feeling at the moment?
Rosie Rees:Honestly, Honestly, I feel I feel really good and I feel kind of bad saying that. Um, I felt mum come through quite strongly this morning on the way here, but I like I feel as though I have felt every emotion there is to feel and I didn't hold back for, like you know, four months or so after mum died, I cried, yelled, screamed, mourned like, wailed anywhere. Anytime. I didn't hold anything in, ever didn't care where the fuck I was. I just let it out and I think that's why I'm so okay right now. I don't feel like I'm like, you know, masking it or like squashing it or suppressing it.
Rosie Rees:I I also know that my mom is so at peace, she is so happy where she is, and I almost feel a bit separate to myself as I say this, because I want, I miss her, her. I want her back, you know, and it was her choice to go and I don't agree with that choice. But at the same time, I've been forced to to respect that and that's what she wanted, and I think actually that's how she was going to go, the that that the writing was on the wall for many years and that was her way out, and she struggled with mental demons her entire life. Um, so I am feeling, I feel really like I feel so fine. And there were moments where I felt relief and I don't think anyone really talks about that either um, the relief of like she's not in any pain anymore, you know, and she's, she's in a better place, and I actually communicate with her a fuck lot like she, we used to talk every day.
Rosie Rees:Um which Rose had a message this morning about talking every day and we did, and so for me like, and it's still really tricky, like I keep going to call her and just reach out and like, yeah, I really miss her because we were best friends, like she was my bestie Did she have a voicemail?
Chrystal Russell:No, and I found I recorded my dad's like voicemail, so sometimes when I feel like I want to call, I'll just listen to the voicemail I wish there was, yeah but I found some old voicemails from her that I've been able to keep Hearing their voice is so lovely Because I feel like videos as well.
Chrystal Russell:You're not going to forget just yet because it's still quite fresh, but for me sometimes I forget what his voice sounded like. So it's like just that reminder of like listening to something. Yeah, but it is funny because on the way here this morning, Rose called me and was like I'm getting all these messages. And she's like I'm getting all these messages and she's like I'm not sure if it's for you or if it's for Rosie, and she was like telling me all the things. Then, when Rosie came in and sat down, they were all for Rosie.
Rose oates:Yeah, I didn't know Cause I'm of course they were.
Rose oates:Of course they were like it's. It's a weird connection. Like I said, I don't know why, um, but I think there is because she wants to talk to you whenever she's got the opportunity, like she used to. There has been a lot of things that I've learned along the way, so this morning, I mean I can't believe I'm sharing this. I didn't even know if we were going to talk about this. So, oh, thank you. The chest I get a real tightness in my chest, in my throat. I feel like I can't breathe. When she comes through at first, it's really, really uncomfortable. I think it's clear, like that, your mum did take her own life. So was that something that you? You actually shocked you? You were, weren't you?
Rosie Rees:I was. Yeah, I was actually really shocked because she was so happy. I only saw her like the day before, was it? Yeah, two days before. And it's so funny because I'd actually dropped into her house twice that week and had a cup of tea with her and she seemed, seemed fine. She seemed happier than usual, actually, and I think that when people make a decision that they're going to go, there's this um contentment in them that that's what they've decided, and so I had no warning at all and we just got married like a month or two before. So, um, but in saying that, um, her, yeah, I remember attempts from when I was 12, um, all through my adolescence, um, that's why I went to boarding school just wasn't, I couldn't live with mum.
Rosie Rees:Like we had a very close connection, but it wasn't like it. She wasn't in a good place, yeah, but being a single mum, she just, you know, she just needed to work, and like she didn't have the opportunity to stop and get the help that she really needed. And so when this happened, it was, yeah, I think she'd felt as though Rosie has Ash, she's married now, everyone's safe, everyone's good, everyone has a family. I can go now.
Rose oates:Yeah, oh, that's a lot.
Chrystal Russell:And I think it's taken a bit for me to understand this. But I think once they've made that kind of decision, no matter how much you try to talk them out of it even if you were aware doesn't really change. Like I spoke with the medium after dads and they were like if you changed his mind that day, he was going to do it a different day. So it's just becoming like I guess accepting of that, like that you actually cannot change what they've decided their fate to be.
Chrystal Russell:It wasn't a matter of yeah, and it's like getting over that, because I don't know if you blamed yourself at all, but I did go through that thing of like I felt guilty that I didn't see the signs or that I didn't wasn't aware or for a long time held that guilt.
Rosie Rees:I feel guilty that I cause I was mum's emotional support, like we. I've been not her therapist or like she hated when I coached her, but like, um, if she was upset or she needed help, I it was me, I was her emotional um, yeah, just her rock. And I feel guilty and I'm working through the feelings of guilt that I wasn't able to pick this up and I wasn't there for her and but you know what? She started pushing me away, pushing everyone away, actually months beforehand. So there was lots of little alarm bells and signs actually, when you look back, but the guilt of not realising sooner and but it was going to happen.
Rosie Rees:And this is where I have to just remember, like it wasn't a matter of when it was, if it was when, when it was going to happen, and this is where I have to just remember like it wasn't a matter of when it was, yeah, yeah if it was when, when it was going to happen it.
Chrystal Russell:Just that's right. Yeah, I think we all get that feeling, but I think the good thing to know is that, like she, you know, loved you so much and yeah all of the things that come through from Rose's end is that she just wants to be close to you still.
Rose oates:Yeah, it's actually really, really, really beautiful. Like I said to you, it's something that I don't fully understand myself and I never claim to, and I just jotted it down because I was like I don't know what this means and I'm not a professional medium. I don't do this as like a living and I'm learning as I go because I've just let it in. I suppose I've allowed myself just to feel more. I told myself that last year that I was going to let myself feel more and I just really didn't understand what that meant. But it was obviously a whole body experience.
Rose oates:But going back to that night that I did see you and I was avoiding you like the plague and I was getting drunk, is I actually don't need a lot. I'm not a big drinker, actually at all, um, but I love having a, I love having a booze, like I love, but I started drinking because I got nervous and I started just downing tequila, because I love tequila, and, um, I was like I just couldn't talk to you because I knew if I spoke to you that I was going to get overwhelmed.
Rose oates:Your mum was very pushy. She is so persistent.
Rosie Rees:Oh, my God.
Rose oates:So determined and I felt like I was going nuts. I was like this isn't real, rose, just push it aside. You're just making this. I actually thought I was just making it up. I was like your mind's just running away with these things.
Rosie Rees:The proof was in your body, because as soon as you told me and you gave me all these messages and a hug, like a mummy hug, you said your whole nervous system was like a big exhale, like, oh, I can release, now I can freaking sleep tonight.
Rose oates:I didn't even know you were coming to this event and so I've had these messages. And then the day of, or the day before, I couldn't. She just was bombarding me all the way home on the freeway and Crystal said, oh my god, you know Rosie and Ash are coming tonight and I was like oh fuck, oh no. I was stressed. And then that took me to a next level stress. I told Craig and Craig's like what the hell I thought you were being a bit weird, like so, yes, I did, I tequila it up and I thought, now or never she's about to leave.
Rose oates:And I just um cornered Rosie and I said, hey, um, this is what's happening to me. And you were just as you are in life, with everything, with your pussy, everything. You were just so open to receiving and I was like, oh, thank God.
Rosie Rees:I just was so excited to hear from her Like I'm like, of course I want to know for you know, get a message from my mum.
Rose oates:But she is so determined, so pushy and she was just like if you don't tell her this, I'm going to make you in some. I felt like she was gonna embody me or something. I was like, oh, but yeah, it was a hell release. And even this morning, um, I get like a tightness in my chest and everything and I'm like I hate there. Um, she just knows like Rosie and I cross paths a lot, I assume, and she's like I'm just gonna make sure I say hello, just popping in. So, yeah, we just had a lot about tea and talking every day, trying loss, decluttering.
Rosie Rees:Literally everything that Rose has said this morning is like literally something that I'm going through or I'm doing, or I'm feeling or I have like everything it's bang on accurate.
Rose oates:Keeping it brief, and then I got boots, boots, boots, boots, but yeah, also also yeah about decluttering and I'll say this to you, but I think actually now it's a very important message for people that are listening. Is that, um, letting go of stuff in your home, in your space, it's also healthy for your mind, not just of like a loved one's things, but your own, because, because it takes up space in your home, but it does take up space in your mind as well.
Rosie Rees:Energetically, everything has a vibration and I think, like I took my mum's treadmill home, I actually took like this, I couldn't throw anything away and because I just thought it was her in a way. But having had some time and space and the treadmill, I remember I walked on the treadmill once and I didn't like it and then I realised, you know, she would get on the treadmill a lot and she was kind of very internal and what's the word when people just can't leave the house, kind of thing, like it wasn't a good energy. When I got on it I realized I don't want this energy. This is not mum, this was her. A way of her coping was walking. She used to walk like 10 kilometers a day, um, and it helped her mentally but at the same time it wasn't like a was, it was an addiction maybe there was a lot of her pain on that treadmill there was a lot of pain on that treadmill and you know where it's gone.
Rosie Rees:So I have this guy called Jimmy who picks up lots of our boxes and rubbish and like just does so much like removal of stuff for me, um, in the business and for me personally anyway. He took it home because he has six cats and he's gonna walk his cats on there can we get a video of that?
Rose oates:oh my god, jimmy, I don't know my mum would be stoked with that like great. I'm stoked that the cats are going for little walks.
Chrystal Russell:I need to see this on.
Rose oates:Instagram. Oh my god, cat videos are the best.
Rosie Rees:How funny but so. But every lot, like a lot of her furniture, has gone to people that I I love. I know and I love um or worthy Australia women coming out of domestic violence. She was in a domestic, uh violent relationship um years and years and years ago and I just know, like I, I know that her stuff is going to places it needs to be, but there's still some stuff that I'm probably hanging on to that I can get rid of.
Chrystal Russell:And you will when the time feels right. Yeah, but I laughed because when we had Ash on the pod, I remember Rose being like Rosie's mum has this like smell and it's like almost like an op shop, and Ash was like, well, she worked in an op shop.
Rosie Rees:Yes, she was a volunteer.
Chrystal Russell:She worked in an op shop and we were just like mind blown.
Rose oates:Okay, I was trying to like.
Chrystal Russell:You're like. I was winding down the windows. I was like op shop smell. It's outrageous. I was trying to like. You're like.
Rosie Rees:I was winding down the windows I was like op shop smell, like it's outrageous, like she's worked at an op shop for five years, volunteering at a hospital.
Chrystal Russell:And we all know what op shop smell. Like right, you walk in and it's the op shop smell.
Rose oates:And it kind of smells like this bit of mothball. I was winding down the windows in my car thinking what's in my car, like, like, and I was like blasting and I was like how is it still here?
Chrystal Russell:I put the windows, jesus Christ, like she was sitting next to you in the car yeah, it's wild, it's.
Rosie Rees:It's amazing what you can feel when you like actually get in tune, really tune in yeah, my mum was not a spiritual woman at all, um, but I feel like she's discovered she, well, she's she's spirit now.
Rosie Rees:I guess, but she realizes now, doesn't she, that she is. She's so strong her presence, like I've had multiple, probably 10 or more moments of connection with her spirit, like palpable at home connection anywhere. Wow, yeah, like a sign for me is a white feather and I'll literally, and, but only if I walk literally over the top of a white feather or it like really comes right onto my path. But more than that, like just so many I can't even think of them right now.
Chrystal Russell:Yeah, I remember one day you were like, went for a walk or a jog or something and this bird wouldn't leave you alone. So birds.
Rosie Rees:She said she was going to come back as a um. What are those little cute birds?
Rosie Rees:really wagged yeah really wagged, how um, and so I've connected with a few of them and but birds have come to me and so I was on this like walk in nature and this bird flew down and like on my best friend, erin but Erin's terrified of birds so I took the bird and just placed it on my shoulder Because it looked like there was a bird attacking us. But it was just like this domestic, almost like a budgie that was obviously in the wild, and it just sat on my shoulder for like half an hour as I walked around this lake.
Chrystal Russell:I remember seeing that video and being like that's Rosie's mum.
Rosie Rees:But it was my mum and I just put mum's oh this is so weird her earrings in my ear and it was pecking the earrings see yeah, and her. It was her necklace too, so it was like pecking the earrings.
Chrystal Russell:I don't know birds do that yeah but it was like pecking both and it was crazy that you just put those on.
Rosie Rees:I just put those on that day and it was just feeling like there was mum right on my shoulder.
Rose oates:I believe in all those things, though, I do too. Well, I have to now, because there's just it's coming to you.
Rosie Rees:To me it's just undeniable, oh it's found you yeah, whether you like it or not, but you can shut it out. Yeah, she's just there. You can't see her or the loved ones, your dad. They're just there in energy and we just get to call them in Like a friend described to me.
Chrystal Russell:She's like imagine you're sitting back to back with somebody on a chair. She's like that's what it's like they're on the other side, back to back with you. That's powerful.
Rosie Rees:So I always think of like dad, like that, like whenever I'm thinking to me it was like a sheet of paper. Yeah, that's how fine, it is yeah and just because we can't see them doesn't mean they're not there they're there all the time, but definitely.
Chrystal Russell:I think it's nice, in whatever way you visualize your family member, that they're with you, because I feel like you never want to kind of lose that yeah as long as you can keep that, it's like you're keeping their spirit alive too, sort of like yeah, yeah, I think the memory always lasts and lives in you.
Rose oates:It's not just a memory. It's who we are. We are them, we are part of them. They are a part of us. It's not gone.
Rosie Rees:And I think we need to honour them and commemorate the dead with having an altar for them even if it's a really simplistic one, but with a candle doing little things, setting the table at Christmastime with a setting for them, even if it's a really simplistic one, but with a candle doing little things, setting like the table at Christmas time with a setting for them my mum had disco a disco ball in her patio so now we have random disco balls on the Christmas tree and, like you know, still giving their memory, yes, bringing them into your day, just like they are here and even though I'm really upbeat and fine right now, like I still have days, of course, where I am not okay and I
Rosie Rees:just fucking want my mum back and I don't want to do this without her and it was too soon and you know I go down that rabbit hole of grief all over again. But I think from me expressing my fucking emotions, I honestly think if people don't express their grief, it will come and fuck you up.
Chrystal Russell:It will you will hold that in your body. This is what we're saying now a lot with my family. So I went through it in hell like how you explained wailed, cried, punched, kicked. All of those emotions still now do it Quite. A few family members of mine went into like denial, almost like this didn't happen it's not real ignored any kind of emotion that they were feeling.
Rose oates:And now it's like it will always come back.
Chrystal Russell:Now it's eating them so badly and I'm like I told you guys like you needed to let that out.
Rose oates:This was me. This is with me with trauma. So I was taught to bury it to it under, put it in a box, put it away, never talk about it again. I'm very happy, upbeat, positive, half glass, full person. Through it all. Actually, even I can always see a positive rather than negative. It's who I. It actually is who I am.
Rose oates:But let me tell you, I swear to god, like having Esme, even having Octavia, who's my third child, it brought it back up to the surface. Everything I hadn't dealt with in my past, the trauma, the things that I had not, that I thought I had gotten over, which I absolutely had never unpacked and absolutely had never gotten over came back with a vengeance and I didn't realise how many parts of my life it actually affected. Like you were saying how we got onto this subject in the first place, like you didn't want to have sex, like weren't in that space. Like it came up in sex. It came up in my everyday practices. It came up in how I looked after or how I didn't look after myself and how I go numb.
Rose oates:So to block it, I, if it's something to do with me, I generally don't feel I disassociate freeze, yeah, yeah, and if's someone else, I have all the emotions for them, all the feelings. So it is really important the way that you guys have expressed it, like it's actually really inspiring to listen to because it's powerful. Grief is powerful, obviously, but listening to you guys like letting it out and being okay with not being okay.
Rosie Rees:It's actually healing. I've done a lot of work on, like, self-development and even on my Tantra workshops and trainings I did years ago. It's from that, honestly, because you're taught to express your emotion, which is energy in motion, through breath, sound movement and touch. Motion, which is energy in motion through breath, sound movement and touch, and just through loud breathing, loud sound, like making any authentic sounds, touching yourself, like I would just hug myself and shudder and shake and like rock and like just doing all the things that.
Rosie Rees:Like a wounded animal like you, how would your grief express itself physically through your body? Because your body gives you messages and clues and like often, yeah, we numb out, we shut down, we don't allow ourself to feel because so many different reasons. But you know, when we give ourself permission to just fully go there, not caring, like what anyone else thinks of us, like I was at, you know, a sports game and I just cry, I'm not, I mean, there's no shame in that and I'm. If I go to fight, you know, rather than freeze, I'm not, there's no shame in that and I'm. If I go to fight, you know, rather than freeze, I'm a fighter. So like I think maybe that's the same as you, christelle? I'm not sure, but like getting it out in some way, and it might not be yelling and screaming for you, it could be. You know, heavy breathing, crying even, like you know, underneath tears is anger, and underneath anger is tears. It's like we've got to go through it all yes, yeah literally like two weeks ago.
Chrystal Russell:I might have been, was that two weeks ago? Yeah, rose called me and I was just in hysterics, but I was, I needed to just let yeah for two days I just literally cried and screamed and just felt all the fails.
Chrystal Russell:Felt all the fails, the feels, because I just I knew that if I didn't let all that out I was gonna not be in a good place. Like and the relief I felt. Sorry, I did concern you a bit. I fully concerned, rose, of how I was, but I knew that if I didn't let that happen, and if. I had bottled that up. I knew I would not be in a very good place yes, you did, scare me, you mole um well done well, but letting it out yeah
Chrystal Russell:and it was vulnerable for me also letting, because after dad's death I have pushed a lot of my friendships away, whether I felt that they were good or not for me. I've pushed a lot of people away and I have felt closer to rose since his death and I just was like I need to, just even though it was probably triggering for her, I just exploded.
Rose oates:You need. I mean, I called you a mole and I still stand by that but because it's scary to be the person listening to someone in pain or someone that is not okay mentally at the time. But fuck, it's important to do. Don't ever feel like you're a burden and that you can't do these things, because I think I don't know why I keep saying it ends with us today.
Rose oates:This is a third, but third time I've probably said it, but I get to close the circle, the cycle we get to stop this cycle, guys like, if we speak honestly and truthfully when we need to, throughout our whole lives, whether it be about sex, whether it be about grief, whether it be about having a really fucking bad day mentally or physically or just being tired, then we stop internalizing it, which is not good for our bodies, it's not good for our soul, so we can stop that cycle and normalise having these hard conversations so people no longer feel uncomfortable.
Rose oates:So I think as well, I know for me, the reason I don't speak sometimes is because I don't want to burden someone with my problems, and that's not healthy, no, when I after the death.
Rosie Rees:this sounds really weird, but I just wanted to talk about it. Like most people go the other way and just don't want to talk about it and isolate and pull away. I just wanted to be online and talk about it and I probably pulled more away now and I'm doing my own inner work now, but at the time I just wanted to get on Instagram, talk about it. I needed to talk about it and that's just who I am.
Chrystal Russell:I'm more of like but do you know how normal you made me feel? Oh, like I watched your videos and I was like fuck, I'm normal, like I was watching you go through it and I was like I felt relief that you were feeling the same pain that I felt and I was like this is so like good to see.
Rose oates:But it was also beautiful.
Chrystal Russell:Yes.
Rose oates:Oh, thank you, Because not everyone can talk about it, but because you have the ability and that's a strength of yours, it's actually so relieving for people that can't yeah.
Rosie Rees:You did something beautiful there. I just I don't know like my mum used to listen and watch my stories every day and so I feel like it was almost through her like, but I felt some shame. I felt like I shouldn't be online, I shouldn't talk about this, I shouldn't be. I'm so vulnerable right now like I shouldn't be doing this, and people around me were like you should just go within and you know. But that's not what I wanted to do and I'm really glad I didn't, because I had so many messages like and I still do like people asking me for grief, support because of the way I've handled it. But yeah, for me it was show. I needed to show up and be like this is real. This is what I'm feeling, because I've been real with my audience for 10 years about everything else, so why would I? It didn't feel authentic for me to pull away, like I just wanted to talk about it.
Chrystal Russell:And it was you Like. It was the authentic you Like, even though you were showing such a dark like time that you were in. There was something about it. That was just so. I can't explain it. But like. I don't know what it was, but when I like I literally cried watching so many of your stories, cause I was like I just knew exactly how you were feeling.
Rosie Rees:Like it just so many people don't let themselves fully feel the grief, and it confused me. I was like it's just a human emotion, like we're here to feel all this, the whole spectrum not just happiness and joy.
Chrystal Russell:That's like a major part of your life. Like you, just don't go. Oh, they're gone bye yeah, that does that's not normal.
Rose oates:No, because we've been taught that like you were saying yeah we've been taught there's a right way and there's a wrong way to feel grief, and there's shame around it.
Chrystal Russell:Tell you what. My dad's been gone two years now and I'll continue to talk about him every day. He's got a little shrine in my lounge room with his big fat head and a photo frame. So does my mum he would love it. I look at his photo and I'm always like dad with his little urn there Mine too. I've been told that he wants to be released into the ocean and I'm like you fuckers are staying in my lounge room for a bit longer. For now I'm not ready to let you go in the ocean.
Rosie Rees:Not yet.
Chrystal Russell:Maybe that was the ocean thing last week too.
Rose oates:What did I do? I don't know the psychic said about the ocean. Told you the ocean.
Chrystal Russell:Yeah.
Rosie Rees:But we need to talk about people who've passed. Yes, Like we're not just going to get over it. And this is the thing. Like people would message me and be like, oh my God, so much like unsolicited advice over the past six months. But I'm very kind and I'm like thank you. And a lot of people will say, oh, it doesn't get any easier. I disagree, I honestly disagree. It doesn't get any easier.
Chrystal Russell:I disagree, I honestly disagree. It doesn't get easier.
Rosie Rees:You just learn to live with it. You learn to live with it. You gather these new tools to to cope with the grief. So I think it actually does. The grief gets smaller and then you're able to hold capacity. You have more capacity to hold that grief. At the at the start, you don't have capacity, you don't have the tools. You've never gone through this before, most likely, but when people would be like it doesn't get any easier. Why would you tell someone that? Actually, in my experience, if you fully express and release your grief, you it will get lighter. I'm not going to say it's going to get like easier, but it gets lighter. And if you build a connection with their spirit, with their soul, like the person who you love, who's passed, is just dying, to connect with you, and even if you don't believe it, do you know what, though?
Chrystal Russell:This is the thing, and I'm sure you feel this too. People see you and they're like oh, she seems okay. You go in waves like one day I'm fine, the next day I'm in the pits of hell, like, and that is normal, like it is going to be okay to be okay one day, and the next day I'm and only 24 hours later I'm going to be and people like in two business days I'll be on the floor.
Rosie Rees:There you go, because I'm getting premenstrual and I know like I'm okay today. Yes, but just an fyi if I go offline, it's I'm going within and I'm still grieving, and that's the thing with grief, what's normal?
Chrystal Russell:Forever you can feel like that. You don't have to be over it in a year or two years or five years. Like you miss that person, you're going to go through waves. Yeah. And that is normal.
Rose oates:I think everything is normal. The human experience is normal in general.
Chrystal Russell:I've just realised that we have chatted for a very long time.
Rose oates:Look, if you're still here with us, like, honestly, this is just who we are. We can't do those freaking 30-minute podcasts.
Rosie Rees:No, we try, it's just not us. It's just not you.
Chrystal Russell:But I feel like our listeners want to hear the deets.
Rose oates:I know we love chatting with you and I know we've gone from sexual wellness and understanding the parts of our vagina into grief and the loss of your beautiful mom and having psychic bloody media moments and all sorts of crazy.
Rosie Rees:So much in this podcast.
Chrystal Russell:So much.
Rose oates:We just thought we'd roll with it, you know.
Chrystal Russell:I feel like we need to get you on with your like vagina puppet, though, because I need to understand a little bit more.
Rose oates:I love the vagina. Does the vagina puppet have a name?
Rosie Rees:Veronica Valerie, I think, yeah, I like that she'd have a name, valerie the vulva, but just get a mirror and look at your pussies tonight, if you can, and anyone who's listening who's still here get a mirror, a little handheld mirror, yep, and just take a little look, ideally for three, put a song on Three minutes, three minutes. Look at her, witness, her. Look at all the little layers, the flaps, the colours, all the little holes and the imperfections and the hairs and the marks, yeah, all of it.
Rose oates:Oh, I love it. That is your homework tonight, from Rosie to look at it.
Chrystal Russell:Get intimate with your vagina.
Rose oates:Start understanding your own body.
Rosie Rees:I think I'm getting the message here is and then you can properly enjoy sex and enjoy self-pleasure when you know your body like knowledge is power, so you feel more empowered in what you need, what you like, what you don't like and then being able to voice like a whole. Other topic is connecting pussy to your voice, because that's a long you know from. From voice to head is a short distance and we can speak our mind pretty quick. Voice to heart a little bit longer, but voice to pussy is like you distance and we can speak our mind pretty quick. Voice to heart a little bit longer, but voice to pussy is like you know Quite a length.
Rosie Rees:It's a length, right, it's a long distance and connecting the two being able to speak what your pussy needs. Your pussy is relying on you to tell the people who you're with, whoever what she needs, wants fears and desires Like she needs you to communicate for her.
Rose oates:We actually had some quick little this is something we can't skip.
Chrystal Russell:Like too bad if this goes for two hours.
Rose oates:It is what it is. We're here already. We're already at an hour and a half, so we might as well.
Chrystal Russell:We're getting down to it. What is your favourite sex toy and why?
Rosie Rees:Sacred squirter because it makes me squirt Sacred squirter.
Chrystal Russell:That's her right there I need to order one, because I feel like that's really small.
Rosie Rees:You need the 2.0.
Chrystal Russell:Is there a 2.0? There's a bigger one that looks really small to me.
Rose oates:But she's so beautiful, pretty, I've got to think it.
Chrystal Russell:What is your food porn? What is that food that's just like oh.
Rose oates:Like the food that gets you off. If there was a food, okay.
Rosie Rees:So I love moist puddings with ice cream. Like a chocolate pudding, like a self-sourcing chocolate pudding or a sticky date pudding with like ice cream on the side, maybe some custard, maybe some cream.
Chrystal Russell:And it's oozy.
Rosie Rees:And oozy, I like hot with cold yeah. I really like temperature play in my salads, in my meals, in my desserts.
Chrystal Russell:Yummy.
Rosie Rees:It's got to have some hot and some cold.
Chrystal Russell:What's your food porn Gluten.
Rose oates:I love there's bloody fucking pastry sitting in front of me. Oh, there is something about bread. Like a hot crusty sourdough, freshly baked bread with butter.
Chrystal Russell:And none of this gluten-free shit. We're talking full wheat. We're talking full wheat like beautiful.
Rose oates:So the bread is like slightly warm and then you put the butter on thick bitches, thick. So you put it on and you bite it.
Rosie Rees:Yeah, salted butter.
Chrystal Russell:A bit of salt on top.
Rosie Rees:Oh my God, See what I mean. It's like when you're at a fancy restaurant and they bring the bread, the bread, and it's warm.
Rose oates:There's just something that it does something to me. It even does something to me everywhere and does something to me everywhere, like I'm getting a whole body sensation.
Rosie Rees:I'm getting drooling.
Rose oates:Some bread butter, and just the freshness of it and the smell. Baked goods, croissants yeah, how about yours?
Chrystal Russell:I like mashed potato with truffle oil.
Rose oates:Oh, you fancy.
Chrystal Russell:Smooth and creamy and truffly Bit of chilli on it.
Rose oates:Oh, potatoes, get me off.
Chrystal Russell:Potatoes.
Rose oates:Actually fucking anything with potatoes.
Rosie Rees:Ash quite likes a potato Bread and potatoes yes.
Rose oates:Oh.
Rosie Rees:Okay.
Rose oates:Speaking of Ash, something that Ash does that immediately turns you on. It doesn't have to be sexual. It could be whatever it is that she does that you're like. I want you okay, two things.
Rosie Rees:Well, like a simple one that can do anytime is just a look. They have this look that they give me where it's like, it's almost like they're a fuck boy and like you're like in a bad, in a boy band and they just give me this like they just like flick their hair back and they just like look at me and like, raise their eyebrows and just have. It's like they know what look to give me and I'm just like my knees like melt seriously.
Rosie Rees:They know. They know what they're doing, then, or seeing them on stage doing Jungle Body is instant turn on because they're just so coordinated and sexy From day one, though you love that about them.
Rose oates:I just love dancers.
Rosie Rees:I can't dance Like I'm not a dancer at all, but I can appreciate a good dancer.
Rose oates:Someone that's coordinated, actually, yeah, so sexy being coordinated, which is like hip thrusting and like oh my. God, I don't know that you're coordinated. I'm not coordinated. No, I said it's not. But watching someone that is coordinated, it is hot. It's so hot Like Craig's, very coordinated. He was a gymnast.
Chrystal Russell:Whoa, I did not know this about Craig.
Rose oates:Craig is a very muscular guy, but because of that, that's why he didn't progress in gymnastics as a teen.
Rose oates:But he was very, very good at it. So when, craig, I have a stepson, so when we used to go out to parks every single fortnight that we had even since I was 20, and Craig would be able to like he knows his own body, like he knows how to roll, like he'll fall off something and he'll do a little barrel roll or he'll flip, like he was able to like run and like do a flip in the middle of nowhere, or like go in between the bars and like perfectly maneuver, and I was like that's hot, oh shit.
Chrystal Russell:I was like my god, I was you can gym on me all the time I know he it's ridiculous, or when they have a drill in their hand.
Rose oates:Oh, that's another thing I think that's craig for, like when he watches me with a drill.
Chrystal Russell:I, I'm the handy woman or you, dressed in the painting sperm suit. That does it for me.
Rose oates:I know, I know it does it for you. I see your stories. She messages me straight up and I'm like oh, she's got the sperm suit on.
Chrystal Russell:She wears like this full outfit. She's covered in this white outfit. You cannot see it Into her skin. Beside her face I look like a sperm suit. She doesn't get paint on herself and she wears this outfit and I swear to God, it is like the most hilarious thing ever. Okay.
Rose oates:I need to see this.
Rosie Rees:It's good it's so unsexy but for some reason it is so good it turns him on.
Chrystal Russell:Yeah, he kind of like it's the giggles, it's the painting, and then he's like Rose and you turn around and just your face is showing.
Rose oates:It's just a little sperm head, that a sperm I'm like.
Chrystal Russell:We've got a few more questions.
Rose oates:Okay, oh, sorry, oh your pet hate.
Rosie Rees:What's my pet hate? I would say just Say it, say it. Listen, I don't have ADHD. I'm very neurotypical, ashley is not, and so there are some like Ash can just go into this tunnel vision world and work and like nothing. They can't see anything else in the house. I see mess and I see shit and Ash can just tune it out Like good for them.
Rosie Rees:But yeah, that piss pissed me off because I'm if I'm working at home I'm also doing a load of washing and I'm also sweeping the floor and I'm doing, yeah, the dishes, and like ash can just go and zone out and I'm like I hate that we relate I'm very much not neurotypical, so can't relate with.
Rose oates:Ash, do I have the last one?
Chrystal Russell:You do oh.
Rose oates:I've got the sexual position of choice 69.
Chrystal Russell:I said this before you walked in here. We were like discussing the questions and. I said that it was 69.
Rosie Rees:How did you know? Maybe you're a bit psychic.
Chrystal Russell:No, you told on a story once.
Rosie Rees:Oh did I, yeah, okay.
Chrystal Russell:There was a discussion about I think you and Ash were chatting about favourite positions and it was 69. I was like Yours.
Rose oates:I like cowgirl. I knew you were going to say that. Just when you're on top, yeah, but backwards.
Rosie Rees:Oh, reverse cowgirl, I knew you were going to say that.
Chrystal Russell:Just when you're on top, but backwards or reverse cowgirl. Yeah, reverse Backwards, like to like, get the booty in the face.
Rosie Rees:Yes, yes, yeah, that's hot, it's actually like Beneficial for me that way. Yeah, you can do the grindy grind, yeah, yeah, and hold the legs, yeah, like you're riding them.
Rose oates:Yeah, now I'm getting a full visual of Crystal in the bedroom. There are four dogs on the bed.
Chrystal Russell:But that way my dogs can't lick my toes either.
Rosie Rees:Oh, no, dogs need to be in their bed Sorry.
Chrystal Russell:We talked about this last time. A dog or two have licked my toes during. Oh, it's so annoying, see, it's happened. It's a turn. So annoying, see it's happened.
Rosie Rees:He can turn off Harry, just needs he turns around. He's actually quite respectful he turns around. He's respectful, he does a big huff and he's like, oh, this again. And then just turns around.
Rose oates:Dogs know mate, they know.
Chrystal Russell:I can't have. I don't like my dogs look for any leftovers. That's so bad.
Rosie Rees:Oh, so does mine. Harry has a. That's a good sniff. He's like what's this On the bed? So I go away.
Chrystal Russell:I need one, you do. I've said this for months, for the love of God, you do, because that's the clean up. I need one for my couch I saw a friend of ours got one for her couch. I was like, damn, that's a good idea. Absolutely, babe I believe it. Especially because my little dog, she's going on heat. I need to get her done and she's just like doing little wheeze everywhere and she's decided my couch is just like a spot to do it.
Rose oates:Oh yes, ziki's on heat right now and she's bleeding, so she has a splash blanket on her, and then I can just chuck it in the wash. Because I don't know if I want to have baby sausages yet. Yeah, I'm leaving her the option.
Rosie Rees:Good, You're like she'll be a good mother. You need the moon blood free bleeding blanket.
Rose oates:Yes, well, it has to be on the couch, because she gets on the couch and Craig's like I can't help, can't we get her a nappy? And I was like let her be.
Chrystal Russell:Let her free bleed.
Rose oates:Let her bleed on the splashy, but yes.
Chrystal Russell:So we've had so much fun on here. We've gone through it all. We've talked about the puss. We have some grief. Yes, we did not eat the pastries yet, but we will, and we just think that you're such a delight to have, rosie.
Rosie Rees:I love you guys, we love you I was so excited to chat to you today, us too.
Rose oates:I mean, I knew this conversation was going to go from, you know, north to south, but it's both spectrum.
Rosie Rees:It's like sex is the top end of the spectrum of like joy and happiness and pleasure, and then grief is right at the fucking bottom, like yeah, yeah, but it all is intertwined.
Rose oates:Our bodies hold the keys to everything our bodies and our minds. I just I love talking bodies. I love talking about getting deep. I love getting deep. Okay With everything With glass crystal. Yeah, honestly, where can we find you online?
Rosie Rees:So my socials is rosiereese, R-E-E-E-S, and I'm usually shadow banned so you have to type the whole thing. Yes, guys.
Rose oates:We will put her full name in the show notes. She also has a Golden Yoni membership, so if you want to know more about your bodies, sexual wellness, pleasure, use the code pleasure actually for a free month. So you can jump on in it's on Teachable.
Rosie Rees:It's 14 modules of content, so there's a lot in there to go through, but you can just go at your own pace and then it's 40 bucks a month after that.
Rose oates:Yeah so this will be a good start for you. So if you did listen to the whole podcast, you got the code okay, they're the fan girls who've got to the end.
Rose oates:If you have got to the end, come and message us, let us know legit if you have any questions for Rosie or ourselves, be sure to um send us a dm or or pop us a message somewhere. We will definitely get back to you when we can, but all in all, I think thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate you and your time. I hope you know that and always take care of yourselves.
Chrystal Russell:And take care of each other.
Rose oates:Bye bitches, Bye Bye.
